Dedication

ok..wow..I haven't posted on here in awhile...typically I find myself blogging in times of discord, so I guess it is a good thing that I have been away from my computer for awhile...however this time I write a new entry to remember the many happy occasions that have happened to me since I have last been on here...the last time I posted on her my aunt had just died of cancer and at that time in my life I found myself in an internal conflict between myself and God...however I can now say that I have put that pain behind me...recently I have become engaged to my best friend, Bryan and have been accepted to the Auburn University Harrison's School of Pharmacy...I don't think I can possibly put to words the amount of happiness I have felt these past few months...however starting new chapters means closing old ones off..and leaving Troy and my friends has been...well..bittersweet..I am making a lot of friends in Auburn and reconnecting with some old ones...I know that God has a plan for me in Auburn..I know that pharmacy school will be challenging and I will have to be focused now more than ever..but honestly I can't wait...there is nothing that makes me happier than thinking about all of the tears and stress I will experience this next four years...I know I sound crazy right? But maybe not...one thing my aunt did teach me was that I could do anything as long as I set my mind to it...I remember the last long conversation I had with her was her telling me how proud she was of me..and how I use to be that awkward annoying girl who was just trying so hard to prove herself...and that I have grown into a woman that she was very proud of..ever since then I have been determined to make her proud..So I want to dedicate the next four years of my studies to my Aunt Toni because I know she is looking down on me and helping me along the way...So I leave you with this (but don't think I won't be back, Pharmacy school is going to cause a lot more stress induced writing) Slim says go for your dreams because as long as you try and stay focus you can do anything.

Smile its Contagious

I love that when we think we have Life figured out...we don't. Short amd sweet. I mean God throws curveballs at us daily that alway keeps us on our toes. I guess we will never really know his Master plan. Hmmm frustrating isn't it? To always feel a little beaten at your own game? Well I guess all I can say is things are going to have to work out in the end. As I like to say often everything happens for a reason. And sometimes the choices we make are the ones that hurt us the most, but are the right ones. God has us taken care of and at the time you just might not see it. I know I do for now =) And I think that is how it is suppose to be. We are not suppose to know the future or to be guessing what will happen next in our lives. We are just suppose to live each day as it is dealt to us and thats all. No worrying about the future because it will worry about itself. So the next time you feel just beaten up by life..remember to smile cause you never know who is going to fall in love with it. Also remember that God has a plan for you and for your life so smile and be happy that you have this wonderful life that He has given you. The one thing I think people forget to do and I am sure I am at fault for this as well, but we do not praise God for all his beautiful blessings that he has given us. We are so lucky and yet so unworthy. This is a reason to not take life or a day for granted and to live it being happy. I mean why would you want to spend the one life that God gives you here on Earth sad? Just doesn't make sense to me. Anyway I think that if more people would thank God a little more and be a little bit happier about their current situations then life would be a lot better for most people. Sorry, not trying to sound too preachy here just trying to give out advice, something I love to do. Slim says to smile and to be happy!

Battle Cry

I have seen the signs, read them once before
conformed my ways, silenced the lightning storm
did everything through You..
to get a sign of maybe, just maybe you saw it too
but life's a waging war
you would have thought I would have learned before
I moved the earth and moon through You
actions unjustly praised and now I can hear the rain
coming do You?
It drowns the screams I hear at night
of people's hidden lives
covered from the world they try
to save what they trust most to hide
they only want to show You their inner thoughts
but society beats our spirit..even though we fought
life is not as pretty to You?
you hide, you cry, your silenced life is all you've known
until I knew you
I found my strength, my iron sword
and I will carry It into battle for you my Lord
You who silenced those fears and cleased my heart
for this I will lead this uprising march
my ears can breathe
no longer plugged by torturous screams
and the world can rest because of what You do
my victory is through You and now my world is not what I knew
but something grand and brand new...

Ok so this one shows a lot of symbolism along with use of Capitilization along with different points of view. I really like this post so yall comment and Slim Says tell me what ya think! :)

Memories Stained in Sepia

What is a wedding? A routine ceremony made for two people?
A day to come together as one expressing love in front of family and friends?
An everlasting bond that not even death could end
dresses, flowers, smiles, tears, music, and rings; all materialistic seemingly useless things
the gleam in your eye that promises forever
words under God that no act can sever
the beginning of forever, till death do us part
flashback of memories, the day we made our start
a timeline of a lifetime shown in a day
watery eyes, quivering hands, simple words that suddenly become hard to say
memories made in sepia can never be remade
the ceremonys over but your love remains

To my wonderful Cousin Brad this is for you and your upcoming new chapter in your life. I hope this is all you have dreamed of and more. To the bride and groom my inner thoughts :)

Survivor

Slim says: it's time to pray for my aunt because she has cancer. To honor her and to lift her spirits I wrote this for her, tell me what ya think!!

 

Fearless, determined, resolute
a strong-willed facade hides a scared heart
Two beautiful, watery eyes that could tear you apart
A beautiful, everlasting face that nothing could wipe away
A hand to hold, a soul to save
...Trembling hands and halted breaths
Life changing news
Through pain, tears, and relentless nights
You stood firm in the face of this endless fight
I praise you and uphold you in the most glorious light
You who did what I couldn't who pushed through with all of your might
I love you more than you could ever know
an unwaivering passion that will continue to grow
And as each day passes and our story unfolds
We will smile together our lives to behold

Hard Times keep coming

Ok so this is not quite finished yet, but it is a start. This poem shows a lot of the anxiety and worrys  I have been feeling lately. With grades and other stresses in my life I need writing to express myself, So tell me what ya think :)

A sigh of relief

The look of defeat

One more thing brings you down

You scream at the top of your voice, but it is as if you didn’t make a sound

You push and push until you feel like you have reached the end

Just to discover the end is never really the end

Hopeless thoughts and wishful dreams

Placid faces and silenced screams

To stop is to surrender to nothing

But to win is to lose everything

I try to reach out, but there is no one there to grab my hand

I crumble. I fall, unable to stand

Tears streak down my face, but in vain

Cause tears can only wash away your face but not your pain

I look somewhere deeper in myself to find my strength

Scared of being drowned in my grief